Deep Thoughts

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Is it the Dieter’s Mindset?

It is true that there are some tricky nuances to what makes a decision or thought pattern part of the dieter’s mindset or not. It can often be confusing and hard to tell the difference. But here is a handy question you can ask yourself when you are in doubt.

Am I tolerating the behaviour for the time it takes me to reach my goal weight – OR – can I enjoy this habit/lifestyle going forward as someone who weighs less?

One of the biggest differences between what we are doing in the Weighless method and a traditional diet is that the changes we are making are for life. That is why we place so much importance on not relying on willpower or trying to scrounge up motivation.

While a diet relies on you gritting your teeth, digging deep into your willpower, and counting down the days until you can return to “normal” we want you to avoid all of that and instead create a relationship with food and movement that will last forever.

So if you find yourself wondering if you are engaged in dieter thinking, ask yourself if you could do ______ forever. That will likely answer your question.

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The Paradox of Distracted Eating

Photo of popcorn and a tv remote

We all do it, from time to time. We grab a bowl of popcorn, sit down in front of the TV, and shovel away. Before we know it, the entire bowl is gone and we don’t really remember eating it let alone how it tasted. And while this seems harmless enough, distracted eating can easily be one of the biggest reasons we gain weight or have trouble losing it. (Truly, I know people who have lost significant amounts of weight by simply banning food from their TV room)

Now, here is where the paradox comes in…

People often tell me that they need to have a book, a mobile device, a podcast, or a tv show playing while they eat because they “get bored” otherwise. 

BUT

People also tell me that they eat (even when they are not hungry) because they are bored and it “helps them pass the time.”

So… which is it?

And then things get complicated further when someone claims to be a “foodie” and can’t help themselves because they just love the taste of food … and yet they eat in the car, at their office desk, or in front of the tv. Is that what a true “foodie” does? Is that how to really enjoy the flavours, aromas and colours?

What I propose is a radical idea of not trying to turn your food into entertainment and also not trying to turn your entertainment into feeding time. If we keep them separate, we can fully enjoy both… even if we are a foodie. 

If you deliberately give your full attention to what is in front of you, no matter what it is, you will act with intention. And there is never a problem being more deliberate with any of our actions.

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Postcard from the Parking Lot

As I turned into the parking lot of my local grocery store, I could see that competition for parking spots was intense.

Cars were jockeying for position with their blinkers on, waiting for other shoppers to load their groceries and pull out. Others were circling like sharks, hoping to spot and claim an about-to-be-vacated spot before others could react. I could almost see the cloud of stress and frustration rising over the lot and rolling toward me.

With a feeling of relief, I banked to the right, headed to the furthest corner and pulled into one of dozens of empty spots. I collected my empty grocery bags, locked the car door, and because I happened to be wearing tennis shoes, jogged the 200 yards to the door of the grocery store.

But so what?

Opting out of the parking lot drama definitely reduced my stress level. But, let’s be serious: Will the extra dozen or so calories I burned by jogging in from the corner of the lot make any meaningful difference in terms of my weight? Of course not. But it’s not about the calories I’m burning. It’s about the mindset I’m creating.

Every time I purposefully choose a farther parking spot, or take the stairs, or jog across the street, I subtly reinforce (to myself) my identity as someone who chooses to be active, who makes healthy choices. And that spills over into so many other aspects of my life. Such as which foods went into the grocery cart once inside the store.

What we do, say, and think really does affect how we see ourselves. And how we see ourselves affects what we do, say , and think. It can be a virtuous cycle or a downward spiral.

So, the next time you find yourself questioning whether a tiny thing like parking further away from the door can ever really make a difference, remember that all of these small decisions add up to the person you are becoming. Spiral up, friends.

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Valued discomfort

“I’ve realized that changing my habits doesn’t have to feel comfortable,’ a friend of mine recently wrote.  “It doesn’t have to be fun. it’s just necessary if I want to reap the benefits of healthier habits. And when I can see that discomfort as leading to what I want, it becomes a valued discomfort.”

A valued discomfort.

I’ve been turning that phrase over in my my head all week.

When we experience discomfort, we often take that as a sign that something is wrong. But sometimes discomfort is a sign that we’re doing something right.

What might be possible if you started to distinguish between discomfort that has value and the kind that doesn’t? If you started to welcome (or at least tolerate) the discomfort that’s necessary to create the future you want for yourself? 

What If you got better at choosing your discomfort?

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Do you inflate your feelings into justifications?

A member of this program (you know who you are) recently posted in the forum that she is doing really well in so many areas (nailing her daily weigh-ins, moving her body more, making healthy food choices) but one area where she struggles is turning to food when she is bored or stressed.

This is a topic that we cover quite a bit in the program and also in the Change Academy podcast (specifically in an episode called Stop Coping So Well) but I had a recent interaction with a close personal friend that I thought may be helpful.

To set the stage, the idea is that we may create (or at least inflate) the feelings that lead us to indulge, or temporarily abandon our goal, out of thin air.

Here is the example I gave:

A friend of mine is doing Dry-January (avoiding alcohol for 31 days) and only 5 days into the month he texted me saying that he “really wanted a drink!” I asked him why. He said, “I just finished a carpentry job in the house and that usually means beer.” I asked him what the project was. And he said (after a long pause), “Well, actually, I just put up two shelves…”

And like that, the craving was gone.

He went on with his day and is still on track with his Dry-January.

The take away from this story is that his brain, looking for a reason to fall back on the old habit, had turned a simple 10-minute job into a “carpentry project” to justify or convince his lower brain to have a beer.

The bigger point is that we do that with other emotions too. Stress, boredom, loneliness, celebration – our sneaky brains blow them up so we have a reason to indulge.

So next time you feel yourself reaching in to your bag of justifications take a minute and consider: am I really that ____________? Or am I inflating this into an excuse (that I will regret later).