Category: Deep thoughts

What am I saying No to by saying Yes to this?

I love this question because it allows me to be a little more conscious of the trade-offs I am making.

If I’m just trying to decide whether or not I want dessert, the answer is always going to be Yes.  But if saying Yes to dessert means I’m saying No to weighing less, then I’m forced to consider which is worth more to me.

Similarly, by saying YES to working late. I’m also saying NO to working out.  Which is more important to me today?

By saying YES to a second glass of wine, I am probably saying NO to a sound night’s sleep.  (Alcohol definitely degrades my sleep quality.)   Which do I want more?

By saying YES when my sister calls and asks if I have time to chat, I’m saying NO to catching the news or taking a walk.  Often, that tradeoff is 100% OK with me.

Try this question out for yourself and see what you discover. Even if it doesn’t change your decision, I guarantee it will give you more insight into what you’re choosing and why.

You can even post this question as a little reminder for yourself right where you need to see it.  (Inside the snack cupboard? On top of the ice cream bowls? On the fridge? On top of the takeout menus?)

Here’s a printable reminder in a variety of sizes.

Do you ever feel like there are two versions of you?

There’s Morning You that’s totally committed to a healthy lifestyle. The you that makes a smoothie for breakfast, packs a salad for lunch, takes the stairs instead of the elevator, fills up your water bottle several times a day (from the furthest possible water cooler), and takes the dog for a longer-than-necessary walk before grilling fish and vegetables dinner.

And then there’s Evening You. The you that starts rummaging through the snack cupboard as soon as the dinner dishes are done. The you that just wants to relax in front of the tube with a bag of pretzels or bowl of ice cream. The you that wants another glass of wine, thank you very much, instead of a stupid cup of herbal tea.

The you that doesn’t care about eating healthy or losing weight. (Morning You can get back to that tomorrow…)

But it’s hard for Morning You to make much progress when Evening You basically undoes every good choice you’ve made in the first part of the day.

Here is a way to get Evening You more on board with the program

The Evening Ritual

You’ve heard of Morning Rituals but an Evening Ritual can be just as powerful.

A morning ritual helps you start the day on the right foot.  It might be a few minutes spent journaling or meditating, exercising, reading, or listening to a motivating podcast.  And that sends you into the day with a lot of positive momentum, making it easier to make Weighless choices.

By the end of the day, that morning clarify and focus may feel very far away. You’re worn down and frazzled by the day’s challenges and motivation starts to slip.  Whiffs ensue.

But you can refresh your intentions by taking a few moments at the end of the day or beginning of the evening to check back in with yourself and your goals.

Your evening ritual doesn’t have to be long or elaborate. It might be a ten minute session on your yoga mat, a few minutes reading something that inspires you, or even just sitting quietly, closing your eyes, and taking some deep breaths. Acknowledge the day’s successes. Let go of the day’s frustrations. Remind yourself what’s important. You’ll go into the evening feeling much more relaxed and in touch with what you want for yourself and from your evening.

(And tomorrow, Morning You will thank you.)

What sort of evening ritual can you create for yourself?  Where and when will it take place? What will it include? How will it conclude?

Time is tight during the holidays, and that may mean that you really do not have time to do your regular exercise minute routine.

Usually, I walk 15 minutes to the gym, do 40 minutes of throwing around something fun and heavy, and then walk 15 minutes home again. That is 70 minutes that I definitely will not have while I am prepping for holiday festivities and trying to maintain my status of “super cool uncle.”

But that does not mean I will throw in the towel and skip my movement practice altogether. I will simply do what I can with the time I have.

Here are a few things I plan to do and that you can also try.

1. Turn errands and chores into exercise. This can be as easy to do as walking to the store with a couple of bags and a backpack to pick up the holiday meal ingredients or last-minute presents. Or it can be more involved, like adding some extra challenges to shovelling the walk. Personally, I like to alternate which hand I use on the shovel and also challenge myself to see how far I can throw the snow.
2. Do some short movement breaks throughout the day when you have a few minutes. Burpees, jumping jacks, squat jumps and other full-body movements are great activities to pepper in when you don’t have much time but want to get your heart rate up. The key is to choose multi-joint and full-body movements to maximize the impact these short bursts of movement will have. If nothing else, get up 7 minutes early and do the Scientific 7-Minute Workout before you even say good morning to anyone.
3. Turn outdoor fun into fitness. There are many great outdoor activities available to us at this time of year—and many of them can be turned into a real workout with a slight variation. For example: sledding. Sure you could watch the young ones go up and down the hill while you take pictures on your phone, but how about taking it to the next level by joining in and running up the hill each time instead of doing the traditional trudge. For bonus points, invite some kids to add some weight to your toboggan by giving them a ride up the hill. Use your imagination and make it fun!

When time is tight, focus on doing what you can, when you can, with as much of your body as you can. That is much MUCH better than doing nothing and crossing your fingers while waiting for Jan 1 to roll around.

There are so many extra opportunities to indulge at this time of year.  As we’ve been talking about all month, the idea is not to completely avoid all the good things. But at the same time, if we indulge at every opportunity, it’s probably going to undermine our goals/progress.

Instead of trying to indulge less, learn to indulge more extravagantly.

Remember to tune into your entire sensory experience, not just the chewing and swallowing! Call to mind all of the pleasant memories that the sight of a special treat evokes for you. Remember times that you’ve enjoyed this treat in the past. Where were you? Who were you with?  Take a moment to enjoy the smell.  Let your mouth water a bit! Now, notice the way the aroma and texture contribute to your experience of the flavor.  Tune into the pleasure you get as that first bite hits your stomach.

Notice how your sensory experience is richest right before and during your first bites, and how it starts to fade as you continue to eat. When it’s no longer feeling special, stop. And then, take a moment to fully savor the experience you’ve just had. Instead of rushing through what feels like a guilty pleasure, claim it! Let it expand in time, space, and perception.  The more present you are with that experience, the more vivid, pleasurable, and satisfying the memory of it will be.

This holiday, I hope you will take the opportunity to have at least one peak treat experience. See how much more pleasure you can get when you choose your treats carefully and enjoy them fully.  And let this be your new holiday motto:

Only the good stuff. Just enough. Extravagantly enjoyed.

It’s not just you. MOST of us end up eating more sugar, drinking more alcohol, missing more workouts, and eating fewer vegetables at this time of year. We THINK the problem is that we’ve lost our motivation. But I don’t think we stop wanting to weigh less just because it’s the holidays.

It’s just that our usual routines get thrown into the blender.  Travel, extra obligations, and disruptions in our schedule eat into our usual exercise times. Meal planning and grocery shopping fall by the wayside. And there are so many more opportunities to indulge.

If we fall short of our usual standard, we feel like we’ve failed, which drains our ambition even further and it quickly turns into an ugly downward spiral.

The solution is to redefine what success looks like at this time of year. Think about what you really need and what feels possible. What do you want to remember most when it’s all over? What are you most looking forward to? What could you skip without really missing it? How do you want to feel on New Year’s Day?

Holiday success might mean:

• getting to the gym once a week without fail instead of your usual three times–and sneaking in more 20 minute walks
• doing a short yoga video at home on Saturday morning instead of your usual 75 minute class at the studio.
• keeping it to 5 drinks a week instead of your usual 2
• allowing yourself a little extra sugar but only for treats that are truly worthy
• relaxing your no-eating-after-8 rule but NOT your no-eating-in-front-of-the-TV rule
• not gaining weight between now and New Year’s.

Having a clear holiday ambition and a realistic plan for how you’re going to make it happen fuels success, which fuels motivation.

What’s your ambition for this holiday season? How will you define success?

Although we have members spanning a wide demographic range,, one well-represented group is perimenopausal and menopausal women. As a result, a common question that pops up is whether or not the “middle-age spread” is inevitable.

But, as we are learning, just because something is common, doesn’t mean it is inevitable.

I recently interviewed Dr. Tamsin Lewis on the Get-Fit Guy podcast. Dr. Tam is both an Ironman athlete and a Medical Doctor as well as being a middle-aged woman herself. So she understands the body both medically and athletically.

When I asked Dr. Tam if this middle-age spread is indeed inevitable, she replied: “I don’t think anything in life is inevitable, is it? Apart from death and taxes. Menopausal weight gain is certainly common, but that doesn’t mean it is inevitable or even normal.”

“Theoretically, [during menopause], your body does become more prone to storing weight around the middle.” and that is why she advises the patients that she works with to make some changes to their diet, how they exercise, and perhaps even look into hormonal supplementation.

Dr. Tam’s specific recommendations, all of which align perfectly with the Weighless philosophy and practices, include:

• Reducing simple carbs to control blood sugar and fat storage,
• increasing protein to maintain muscle mass and even build some more,
• focusing more exercise effort on strength training, especially of the larger muscle groups,
• choosing activities you enjoy and find de-stressing.

You can listen to the complete interview here.

In the Weighless Program, we are learning to question common assumptions and dissect “conventional wisdom.” We also experiment with changes in exercise and diet to learn how our bodies respond, rather than accept a one-size-fits-all solution–or throw our hands in the air in defeat.

Ageing happens, there is no doubt – but that doesn’t mean we have to go down without a fight!

Here are some tips for enjoying the holiday season to the fullest, with no regrets when it’s all over.

Click here for a downloadable/printable version.

Don’t abandon your healthy habits. You may end up eating a little more sugar or drinking a little more alcohol this next month than you usually do. Now is not the time to also stop exercising or ease up on the vegetables. Keep your healthy habits going and those holiday indulgences will do a lot less damage.

Schedule in time for a brisk walk before getting dressed for the party. Once there, load up at the raw vegetable platter before hitting the cookie tray. If you are traveling, make sure you do a search for gyms nearby where you are staying, or pack resistance bands, exercise gear, and running shoes. 

Save it for the good stuff. There are lots of treats and temptations around this time of year but not all of them are worth indulging in. Instead of mindlessly noshing on every single thing that crosses your path, hold out for the stuff that’s really worth it. 

Show up for it. It’s not an indulgence if you have no memory of the experience! When eating something purely for pleasure, be sure to be there when it happens. Instead of mindlessly munching on M&Ms while you fill in your expense report, stop what you’re doing and savor every one. Save the blue ones for last and linger even longer over those.

Savor then stop. A lot of us confuse indulgence with over-indulgence. An indulgence feels good. Over-indulgence does not.  Once you’ve decided what you’re going to have and you’ve set aside time to mindfully enjoy it, decide ahead of time how much you’re going to have.  Don’t sit down with the entire carton of ice cream or bag of barbecue chips. Serve yourself up an indulgent serving and put the rest away. Resist the inevitable urge to go back for seconds as soon as the bowl is empty.  Instead, think for a few moments about how much you enjoyed your treat and then turn your attention to something else. 

Employ Variety Strategically. We tend to eat more when there is lots of variety to choose from and this often gets us into trouble at parties. If there are 12 different types of cookies on offer, we’re likely to crunch through far more than we would if presented with just one or two options. Luckily, this tendency can just as easily be turned into an advantage.

Don’t keep dozens of different snacks and treats around the house. Pick one or two favorites and leave it at that. But when it comes to putting together the vegetable platter, don’t stop with the usual carrots and celery. Pile on veggies of all different colors, shapes, textures, and flavors: grape tomatoes, cauliflower florets, red peppers, Belgian endive scoops, radishes, blanched asparagus. Offer a colorful variety of healthy dip options as well such as hummus, salsa, roasted eggplant—but maybe just one cheese or sour-cream based dip. You and your guests will enjoy a bountiful spread—with none of the remorse.

Commit to keeping tabs. We really do only manage what we measure. If we weigh ourselves regularly throughout the holiday season, we’re less likely to discover on January 1st that we’ve gained ten pounds without realizing it. And if we keep a rough tally of of how many times per week we’re exercising or the number of drinks that we consume on a daily basis, we’re much more likely to stay closer to our goals.

Every little bit counts. Remember that when it comes to exercise every little bit helps. Instead of falling into the all-or-nothing trap (“I don’t have time for a 45-minute workout so I will just skip it altogether.”), squeeze in what you can and reap the benefits. 

Keep your perspective.  Obviously, eating a lot of junk food and skipping your workouts on a regular basis is not a recipe for good health. After a while, it’s not even particularly enjoyable. But an occasional indulgence or lapse–in the context of a healthy lifestyle –is not going to send you to an early grave. Remember that it’s not what you do on your worst day or your best day that matters but what you do most days that counts.

“I’ve tried everything and nothing has worked. ”

I hear this all the time. But, often, when we really peel back the layers, it turns out that they haven’t tried anything at all. Not really.

Here’s how it usually goes down:

You decide to eat more mindfully or cut out after dinner snacking or exercise before work.  You make a plan and schedule it all in. And that’s where the effort peaks.

Maybe you stick to the plan for a day or 3.  And then, you start to hit some resistance. You get impatient. It’s hard and it’s not working yet. So you conclude that it’s not for you and start looking for the next thing.

When we continually jump from thing to thing, and don’t stick with anything long enough to get results, we get nowhere. We say we’ve tried everything and nothing works. But in reality, we’ve tried nothing.

The only way to get results that last is to permanently change your behavior. And true behavior change takes sustained effort.  Fortunately, it doesn’t have to be extreme or excruciating effort. Just sustained.

And it’s not a matter of picking the best strategy or approach.  Take 100 steps on any path and you’ll be much closer to your destination than taking the first 10 steps on 10 different paths.

So, the next time you commit to a positive change or action, no matter how small, commit to staying the course. Give yourself time to actually create and reinforce that new habit pattern. (They say creating a habit takes 21 days but it depends on the habit. You know it’s a habit when you no longer have to decide whether or not to do it. )

Give that new behavior time to bear fruit before deciding that something else will work better.

“Something else” won’t work better.  The things you stick with are going to be the things that work or, at the very least, lead you to the things that work.

It’s natural to want more of something you’re enjoying. And yet it’s worth cultivating the ability to “savor and then stop.” For example, I REALLY enjoy my morning cup of coffee. I usually drink it out on the front porch (weather permitting), listening to the birds. That 20 minutes is one of my favorite parts of the whole day.

Often, as I’m getting near the end of my cup, I have the urge to make a second cup. To extend the pleasure for a few more minutes. Lately, I’ve been experimenting with not giving in to this urge.

I drink my coffee black, so it’s not like I save any calories by skipping the second cup. But I realize that it’s the same mental habit that leads me to pour a second glass of wine or eat a second brownie. “This is so good…must have more.”

Skipping that second cup of coffee (which never actually tastes as good as the first, anyway) is a way of reinforcing a different habit: enjoying just one of something to the last crumb or drop and then moving on to the next activity–which, in this case, is my morning walk. Win/Win.

 

“I basically eat healthy but  ______  is my weakness.”

Chocolate.
Junk food.
Chips.
Beer.

It doesn’t really matter what you fill the blank in with. The idea is that you’re pretty disciplined. Except for this one thing.

Your kryptonite.  That one thing that strips you of your strength, your reason, your free will. You’re simply powerless to resist it.

When we declare something to be our “kryptonite” we’re essentially absolving ourselves of responsibility. If you’re powerless, then how can you possibly be held accountable for your actions?

Yet, we still get to maintain our self-identity as “someone who eats healthy.”  I mean, Superman was still Superman, right?

I call BS.

You might like chocolate.

A lot.

And there’s no reason you can’t enjoy chocolate! But you are still in charge of how much and how often you decide to indulge.

And if your choices around chocolate (or chips, or beer, or whatever) are leading to results that you’re not happy with, guess who has the power to choose a different result?

The next time you hear yourself saying, “__________ is my weakness,”  I want you to stop yourself, mid-sentence. Instead of giving yourself permission to self-sabotage by abdicating responsibility, try replacing that thought with something more true.

“If I’m not careful, I can really overdo it with _________.”

or

“If I ate as much of __________ as I wanted to, I would not be happy with the result.”

Then, take back your power.  You get to choose what you really want…both for the short-term and the long-term.

Maybe you’ll have a piece of chocolate.  Maybe, this time, you won’t. But chocolate is not the one calling the shots. You are.

Kryptonite has met its match.